下個星期去台灣

For Myself, And All My Beloved Friends

Next week, I am finally* leaving the land I was born and bred in to another whole new world.

I still don't feel ready yet.

There are still so many goodbyes, so many take-cares and keep-in-touchs I want to convey to all those who knew me, befriend me and loved me.

Thank you for giving me so much, all those that are beyond words.....

I am still not ready to say goodbye.

I love you. Take care!

if I were to succumb to darkness one day....

What do you think is the most essential being an artist?

Me, I would say: Eyes, Hands, and Heart.
Out of the three, my hands were badly hurt before, my eyes wasn't in great condition ( i am badly near-sighted). And i could not say that my heart was able to perceive beauty as as a real artist does.....not yet.

So what if one day i were to succumb to darkness.....?

I went to St NIcholas Home For The Blind to help out making a banner in conjunction of Malaysia's Independence Day ( 31st Aug). My stomach was full of butterflies as i have never help out in such organization and I wonder how should i act.

The sightless ( Permit me to use this word for them) there were very kind. Most of them are males, and they came from all states of Malaysia. Some are loved, and have homes to return to, while some were cruelly abandoned by their so-called parents. They are a cheerful lot, and a majority could perform music with great timing and accurately, using pots and pans as their instruments. They would wring paper files for a living ( 1000 files for RM4...what a pittance.) and had lessons to attend daily.

We cut out reliefs for them to print out the words using rollers ( for the partial blind, guided by MIss Linda, their kindly tutor), and paints their hands with acrylic for them to "bodyglove" the banner. It might seems boring for us, but you can;t imagine what great fun was it for them. They then wrote their names ( guided, for the full blinds) and ages on the banner.

They could not see our world, just as we cannot theirs. There was actually two people, more elderly who was not born blind, but lost it in the part of their lives. I could not bring myself to ask them how was their world that suddenly lost it's colors, shapes, and brilliance, for it would be my worst nightmare to be pushed out of the world I was used to.

I could no longer paints my dreams and imagination then.
Just as Wordsworth had said: The things which I have seen I now can see no more.

I would not be able to see the morning sun, the glorious rising.
Nor witness the harmony of sunsets, in vermillion, pink, blue, red and gold.
Neither shining eyes, gentle smiles, graceful movements,
And all the wonders and beauty, and colors of the world-
If I were to succumb to darkness one day......